Stupid stupid Alec
by Luizals
Summary: An attempt to continue the book from Alec's and Magnus's POVs(mostly). Starting from Magnus leaving the subway after breaking up with alec. It explains the circumstances both of them were before the break up in a lot of flashbacks so there will be fluffy moments and sad moments and ve it a try?Rated M for eventual lemon, torture, self-hate...and whatever I decide to add.
1. Chapter 1

**I don't even know if anyone will like it enough to read the author´s note…but just so you know: I love the Mortal Instruments series and absolutely LOVE MALEC! So I just can't wait patiently for the next book. One thing led to another and I ended up writing this fic…but if I don't get reviews or any sign of life out of the readers I will just keep the rest to myself since writing takes time and effort and I'm really lazy. Enjoy and if you happen to like it just give me the word so I can decide if continuing this is worth it. :D**

***This happens after CoLS so if you haven't read it, well, it has pretty much every spoiler possible...**

****The Mortal Instruments series belongs to Cassandra Clare and so do the characters I use in this fic.**

Magnus had just left, and with the last trace of his presence disappearing from the tunnel Alec's heart sank in a bottomless pit. He stood frozen in place, just staring after Magnus.

Throughout the years, he had learned how to suppress his emotions; he had had to, or he would have lost his mind long ago, but seeing Magnus walking away from him made him lose control of them. Magnus was probably the only person who could do that to him.

Right after he came out to his family and they seemed _okay_ with it, while he had spent days travelling the world with Magnus, everything had been magical. While traveling, he got to a certain point of happiness that he actually forgot about all the bad things waiting for him at home.

He hadn't been realistic enough.

Nothing was ever okay, that was a fact, almost a law in his life, doubting it had been too surrealistic. It had been naïve and Alec had trained himself to never be naïve, never let himself hope for something that just wouldn't happen, the person that changed that had been Magnus.

Magnus had been the one that slowly taught him that life isn't just an endless loop of preparing for bad things to happen and dealing with the bad thing that happened, Magnus had showed him that between crises there was this period of time where you could be happy.

When they had suddenly returned to New York it hit him: his life away from Magnus. He remembered about his broken family and his dead baby brother, about the Clave and about the issues on his relationship.

He had been so happy on their trip, and he would never have the chance to go on another one: because Magnus had just broken up with him.

With new problems popping up the pressure continued to add up, until he was completely submersed in it and his mind was all: bad things, demons, villains, pain, heart break, abandonment.

He had tried being optimistic: maybe his family would somehow sort itself out, maybe his father would accept him and maybe his relationship was strong enough to hold out the of that happened.

He somehow lived through it all and everything seemed to be coming to an end: Magnus loved him and he loved the sparkly warlock so as if to put a dot and finish all of the drama he arranged a final meeting with Camille to end their little secret, which happened to be the worst decision he could make.

The second Magnus left the dark subway was when Alec understood how much of a jerk he had been and how hard he would pay for it.

All the suffocating feelings he knew of and some he couldn't name washed over him: pain, sadness, heartbreak, confusion, frustration, regret and many other things were too much for him to handle. He fell to his knees and broke down: vicious sob racking his body, ragged breathing and muffled screams were all jumbled in a grotesque parody of a crying child. He hugged himself, punched the floor, screamed, bit his lips but nothing helped dim his pain.

When his mind decided it had had enough illogical desperation it started to replay the happy moments the boy and the warlock had shared. How much Alec loved Magnus's sweet laugh, how many times his weird jokes didn't make any sense to him and the warlock ended up laughing at the clueless shadow hunter, just how many things the boy admired about the taller boyfriend, how many times they had shared the words ¨I love you¨. And he would never have another one of those happy memories, not even another kiss or even a smile from the one he loved the most.

Everything was wrong: he lost his one true love, Max was dead, he wasn't useful to his family, his father was disgusted by him, Maryse seemed to be upset every time he was in the room, because even though she didn't want to, she blamed him, ever so slightly, for their youngest son's death. She probably didn't even know he noticed, but he did, he always noticed every little change in her expression even if they were very, very little.

Alec let the thoughts mess with his tired mind, and as soon as he saw a light shine on the floor he was forced in a very sparkly Magnus-memories vortex.

He loved the glittery man so much: Why had he been so stupid? Meeting Camille in secrecy. Meeting with Camille in the first place! Why had he ended the best thing that had ever happened to him? Why had he even cared about Magnus' immortality when he could have had years with him? …of course, he knew the answers of all of those questions: he had been stupid, selfish, insensitive and a coward, he had no excuse, he couldn't even ask for forgiveness. He had done so many things wrong.

The worst part about the break up ,was that it was all his fault, that all of the things that led to the end of their relationship had come from his personality, Magnus had been dealing well with all of his flaws, Alec by the other hand, had pressed Magnus to talk about his past even it being obvious it was something the warlock didn't want to do. And when bugging the hell out of his boyfriend didn't work, he decided to go behind his back and meet with his evil ex-girlfriend.

He yelled at himself for being so fucking stupid.

He couldn't even remember how he lived before Magnus, how did he get through all of those years without the warlock around to give him some peace? He didn't know.

Thinking about their relationship in the past tense was making all worse because it reminded him of when Max died and he couldn't get his head around it: sometimes he talked about the sibling in the present tense and some times in the past, it had been Magnus who told him what he had been unconsciously doing and that day the warlock had held the broken shadowhunter all day, putting his pieces back together one by one. Alec hadn't cried, but that made it even worst because it made it that much harder for Magnus to take care of him.

He had been on the ground for some time, but it was only when he heard something moving and tried to move, that he realized his body had gone numb and his throat was dry from shouting.

For long five minutes he tried to recollect himself from where he had fallen to, where he had been for God knows how long. He couldn't stop thinking about Magnus; about the warlock's features and the kisses and caress.

After struggling to get up and walk away, he finally noticed the strange shadow squeezed between the rails of the abandoned subway and the far wall. The shadow moved. It was too small to be Camille and he knew it, but called the vampire's name anyway.

"Camille?"

The shadow approached and he had been right, it wasn't Camille. The girl was tiny and wore a too-big white dress, drenched with blood.

She ran at him at supernatural speed and leapt for his jugular, startling him. His shadowhunter training was the only thing that saved him from the girl's fangs.

He rolled to his right and took hold of his seraph blade, whispering ¨Abasdarhon¨ and holding it with practiced expertise. He had trained with seraph blades virtually since birth, the weigh and shape of it ingrained in his body and soul.

When the vampire tried jumping at him again he flung the blade in a wide arc and a realization came to him,_ What if I just let her do it?_ Just let her kill me? Nobody would notice it, at least not after a while. Their grief would also fade quickly; he knew all of his family members would be just fine if they never saw him again. Wouldn't they? They cared for him, but only because they were expected to, because they were family, not because they chose to. The only person that had really cared for him had been Magnus, and now he had broken whatever bonded them. He had broken his lover's trust and they would, most likely, never see each oth.

His train of thought was interrupted by the brown haired baby-vampire.

She caught him off-guard, and suddenly they were on the ground, her fangs at his neck, her unnaturally strong hands pressing his skull to the cemented ground. He was face down, her other hand at his back, clawing him and pressing him against the concrete. She had definitely fed recently; she seemed impossibly strong.

He fought and twisted until he was free, but the after effects of her attack were already being felt; his head was pounding, he felt weak from blood loss and was considerably slower. Taking advantage of his state and recovered from the bloody nose he had given her, she came after him.

Accepting the challenge he ran as fast as he could in her direction.

She was probably the girl Simon had turned, the one Lilith had taken a liking to at the building Jace had disappeared from; the one that had recently been killing people, therefore he concluded she was of high risk and should be stopped and considered the situation even killed.

They ran hard into each other. Her fangs slashed at the other side of his neck and her hands went all the way through the flesh of his belly to the front of his spine. His seraph blade went through her chest, he missed the heart but before he could try again the girl started sobbing, then she started crying hard pressing her head against his body. She was so tiny, so young to be a vampire and be so incredibly screwed up. After she started crying he couldn't try to kill her; it was against his nature and he wasn't in a perfect state of self, emotionally speaking, so he just slid to the floor with the baby-vampire stuck to his shirt, like it was impossible for her to ever let go.

He didn't know why the girl decided to stop trying to kill him and started holding on to him for no apparent reason. He had been comforted by Magnus once in a very similar position, Magnus holding Alec while he pressed himself against Magnus' body. Squeezing the warlock's shirt until his knuckles turned white and the shirt had an imprint of his hands.

At the time Magnus had whispered, "It'll be okay","I'm here for you, Alec. Always.","It wasn't your fault", and the occasional "Shhhh..", while caressing the shadowhunter's back and patting his hair. But that was long ago, when they were in Alicante and Max had just died. Now Alec would never feel Magnus' touch again or hear his softly whispered words in his ear.

He had been lying at a pool of his own blood with a girl clinging to him in a deserted subway station for too long time: the blood loss and his wounds were starting to get to him and he wasn't feeling his fingers or toes. The girl seemed alright, at some point he had removed the blade from her chest and she had recovered from it quickly like a recently fed vampire should; she had also returned to her position with her face buried at the curve of his neck, lying on top of him startling quick.

After what seemed like hours he started to feel sorry for the girl and tried to comfort her, he did have three younger siblings so he knew how to hold a crying child. He forced his cold hands to move, and put one at her back patting her lightly and the other in her hair, stroking it in a very slow rhythm. She calmed down, but was still on top of him and that, plus the wounds and his torturous thoughts, were making it very hard for him to get up shake her off, draw iratzes on himself and go to the institute, like he should have done a long while ago; after killing her obviously, so not being able to hold their weigh any longer he laid his arms on the concrete, and waited not knowing what he was waiting for.

The girl seemed to finally notice he had stopped stroking her. She moved her head ever so slowly and looked at him, balancing her weight with one hand at each side of his head. She looked at him like he had something interesting written between his brows, slightly crooking her head from one side to the other, before getting to her knees and then to her feet.

She was now standing and looking at him with a terrified expression that shocked even Alec, who had already seen so many horrified faces in his lifetime. She looked very pitiful with her hands pressed to her lips and shaking violently; he had to look at himself to see what was so incredibly alarming.

He started the excruciating process of moving, first his head then his arms. Those movements were more than enough to make him bite his lower lip to quiet a gasp or any kind of noise that he might let escape his lips: he refused to show her how badly hurt he was. He tried to get up but the more he tried the worse the bleeding got, and the pain more agonizing, he had to admit that the open gash at his abdomen was indeed frightening; he had had two fists of a vampire going through it and had bled for at least fifteen minutes so as a result he was covered in a second he wondered if it was possible to see his guts from glancing at his belly.

He would have been most certainly dead if he weren't a shadowhunter or if he hadn't been immobile since the wound had been made.

With both his hands clutched at his stomach he tore his gaze from all the blood and looked at the girl. She was still looking at him but now she was curled up with her knees covering her face, crying again. He searched for his stele but it wasn't anywhere to be found. He'd had probably dropped it at the beginning of the fight. Well, he wasn't getting up to search for it any time soon. Alec had to make a decision: call for Jace, or try to figure out how long he would last without an iratze. Being the genius he was, he chose the latter and lay down to appreciate the pain that rocked his body. He deserved it.

"Why are you crying?" he asked as soon as the pain was bearable enough to speak between gritted teeth.

No answer.

Alec asked again, moving his gaze from the high ceiling to the tiny, curled up girl. "why are you crying?"

He was thinking of Magnus again. More specifically the smile he would never ever see again, which was many times more painful than his open stomach, and he thought maybe the girl could, just maybe, distract him a little.

She looked at him very slowly and sobbed as she made her way, very slowly, to his side. She touched his hand very lightly. Just like Chairman Meow, Alec thought instantly. Then she took hold of his hand and pressed it between her two small ones, kneeling beside him, and said between sobs,

"I'm sorry...so-...ry...i...soo...ryy"

He was starting to think she was crazy, actually he was starting to think _he_ was crazy and all of this wasn't really happening. It was all a dream and he would wake up beside Magnus.

Nothing made sense. If she was the vampire behind the recent kills, like he thought she was, and if she was the newly-made vampire that sided with Lilith she should be blood thirsty, void of conscience, pure evil or at least taken over by the vampire instincts or by the blood, a capable killer, incapable of remorse, all of which clearly she wasn't. His body was so heavy he couldn't lift a finger and as his vision began to tunnel. His eyelids began to close, but he fought it. Now he wanted to know about the girl. He wanted to stop thinking about Magnus' jokes and full, joyous laughter.

"Please..."she wept. "Please don't die"

The girl said it while looking him right in the eyes, taking his attention from Magnus to her face that had plead written all over it. He smiled at himself, at his instant reaction to reach his hands to wipe her tears. Of course he couldn't move his hands, but the thought made him smirk a little. He was just so stupid; she was a vampire, she was the one who had caused him all of his current injuries, she'd killed people, and yet he wanted to wipe her tears. Stupid, stupid Alec.

**So…that was the first chapter…did you like it? If you did I'm glad ^^ and I'm pretty sure you are like me and love Malec so much you obsess over them endlessly. In the next chapter I'll try to give an idea of the plot because right now it doesn't look like anything in particular.**

***I will love you if you review Stupid stupid Alec.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hiii XD. I'm so freaking happy, so many people read it!There weren't many that gave sign of life ( : ( ) but I had four reviews and they made my day.(that by the way was my birthday, thank you for the present ^^).**

**So…yeah, here is another chapter. There isn't as much of the plot as I wanted it to have, but I think it's progressing smoothly enough, remember: Alec just broke up with Magnus a few hours ago (not even two hours), so give him a break for being gloomy. For the ones that reviewed Stupid stupid Alexander Lightwood baby sweet pea: THANK YOU SO VERY FREAKING MUCH IT IS ABSOLUTE GOLD( hugs, kisses and my love for you all). I smiled so much when I saw it, it made me so very happy, it was what made me continue it. For the ones that favourited or followed it kisses for you sweet, sweet people :D See you later.**

**(almost forgot)**

***The TMI series belongs to Cassandra Clare**

**** The rating might change in later chapters( to M)**

He just looked at her, incapable of making any other movement: she was tiny, her hair tangled, dress ripped apart and dirty, hands bloody, eyes twinkling with countless tears and tear stains down her check.

The dark subway station and his blurred vision were almost ruling his perception capabilities, but the fill things he saw were enough to make his despair grow: It hadn't been a dream, he was at that subway and Magnus had truly found him there and roke up with fim, which also meant that the fight had been real and the pain he was feeling wasn't from a dream. To top it all up the sight of the girl holding on to him desperately made him feel sorry for her. It didn't look like she was a cold blooded killer, it didn't look like that at all, and if he was being honest she was more like a terrified little cub than anything else.

It seemed natural to compare her to him. He looked at her and saw himself at her age: curled up and crying; he would be usually hidden at the corner of Hodge's precious garden pretending it was all a nightmare. It hurt him that she was hurt and it pained him even more to know how it felt like: to be young and troubled. It also ached to know that from that age on it would get much worse before, if she was lucky, it got better.

She was still mumbling for him not to die and hundreds of apologies. Alec wanted to ask what was she so sorry for. To him his life wasn't worth that many tears, and let's faces it: she didn't even know him.

Attempting to speak he noticed his throat was like sandpaper, and at first he was only able to form hideous sounds in the near silent space.

After some failed attempts, he managed.

"Stelle "Trough harsh breathing.

The girl just stopped mumbling and stared. _Was she really going to make him speak again?_, he wondered.

"Who?….Where?"As soon as she asked rubbing her eyes with bloody hands, he almost rolled his eyes at her.

Of course she wouldn't know what it was, he was just that lucky, he would have to explain what a stelle was to the vampire who had caused the injuries he needed it for! And he didn't even know if he wanted to be fixed up! He was just doing it because it seemed like the right thing to do, for no reason at all since: he lost Magnus and the only one to mourn him would probably be the one that killed him: because she was a crazy-newly made-baby-vampire who cries for no fucking reason! She didn't even know him! Where was the logic in all of this?

The majority of his life Alec had been proud of his logic but at that exact moment it had fled him, maybe it left him when Magnus did.

After recollecting himself he started thinking more objectively: maybe he just didn't want to die of heart-break and leave the girl thinking it was her fault, after all, he had had almost half an hour to get up and go away, he wasn't weaker than the average shadowhunter, he could sustain much more damage before becoming incapable of fighting so if he had wanted to, he would have gotten up and walked away. It wasn't her fault it was his. He wanted to be free already.

He had braced himself for years. He had managed his frustrations for all his life, protected the family honor, tried to protected his siblings, kept himself normal and level-headed the best he could, he did everything he could for his family, endured his daily life for them, _couldn't he just die for himself_? Couldn't he just have a moment of weakness and not be patronized for it? Have a non-meaningful death, which belonged to him and no one else? _Couldn't he?_

Before meeting Magnus, all of his thoughts and actions had been for his family. He would occasionally do one or two things unrelated, but the almost all of his time was taken over by his dedication to them: train to protect the younger and not disappoint his parents, study for the same reasons plus Hodge´s rare compliments, which he worked very hard for. That was pretty much all he did: he trained, he studied, he remained normal and constant, he tried to be what people wanted him to. It takes a lot of dedication to try and live up to someone's expectations and his parents' had been even harder, but he never complained, it was his duty to be the best he could.

After a while he noticed it turned out that he was more useful as the shield in battles, and that was what he thought he had been born to be, what he wanted to be. He'd thought that maybe if he worked hard enough he would achieve the goals set for him, make his parents proud, and could then feel relieved, that didn't happen tough. Before achieving anything Magnus rushed into his life and changed it.

It didn't happen like in romance books; it happened slowly and hesitantly.

Upon realizing he longed for Magnus when they were separated and was instantly happy when they were together, he almost freaked out for being so dependent of the new, boyfriend?...That had never happened to him, he had never longed for someone so strongly.

After a few weeks of their relationship Magnus had told him that his happiness wasn't anyone's choice but his own. The warlock had said it out of the blue and it had caught Alec by surprise, because it was said in a so matter-of-factly way that he supposed that, to Magnus it was the most obvious thing in the world: to him it wasn't.

That sentence stuck to his head and never let go. He had never even considered deciding his future; it hadn't crossed his mind he could change what was set for him, until his loved one said so. When he had reflected about it for a considerable amount of time he decided it was indeed his present decisions that would shape his future, his and not anyone else's . After coming to a conclusion, he didn't change his life or personality right away, it took time, everything took time, and his life was changing way too fast for him to change with it; but from that point on Magnus caring for him was changing him more than he could have expected: it changed the way he thought about things.

He would always be linked to his family and he would always love them but it wasn't that difficult to do so any more. He had a lightness that was new and incredible; it was a hell of a lot more than he could have ever asked for.

_He was the one to end that! He messed up the best thing in his life!_ Now he had nothing to live for, and no urge to search for a cause to die for.

Anything that needed him to move was not wanted and yet at the same time he didn't want to die leaving a crying girl thinking she was what caused his death when she wasn't, at least not singularly.

He only noticed he had lost consciousness, again, after being woken up by the girl asking him who stelle was, touching his face with cold hands and looking at him with a pair of decided eyes.

Everything was so damn cold.

"I will get her to you …just tell me where she is."

For a second he wondered who stelle was.

"Her number, tell me her number."

When she wasn't crying between syllables she talked much more fluently, and a bit too fast. He would have laughed if he could, a hysterical laugh. He wanted Magnus, not a stelle.

Trying to focus he mumbled.

"Not..." It was at least twice as difficult to talk compared to earlier."..who..." Throat burning_."wha_…_t…"_

Even the air hurt.

She looked puzzled so he gave another try as he wondered if her tears were worth so much trouble.

"…pencil…"

Before he could say anything else or reopen his eyes, which he had shut because of the pain, the girl had left his side. He knew the wound was bad, considering that his pain tolerance was incredibly high and even so the pain was horrible, the wound was a hell of a lot worse than he initially thought it was.

He felt her hands searching his pockets. At least the girl wasn't going to argue about his need for a pen when he was dying; maybe he wanted to write a letter, it made perfect sense. She wouldn't find it in his pockets tough, as he had searched there before, so it could only be in one place.

¨froo…oorr¨

He managed to mumble it before sucking air and curling into the pain, making it ten times worst.

She moved through the room quickly and brought a bunch of stuff that resembled pens, including a straw. After that, Alec was certain she didn't want him dead; no serial killer would collect pens on an abandoned subway station for their victim if that person wasn't dumb or incredibly crazy. He could hear Hodge's voice in his head_: she is not a person, she is a vampire_.

She showed the pens to him, putting them right in his field of vision, a thing he was grateful for since he didn't have to move. He looked through squinted and blurred eyes and saw his stele, tried to reach it but as soon as he tried the action had to be cut short. Pain travelled like lightning through his body, not being able to pinpoint the source he braced himself and took in as much air as possible, preparing for his next struggle.

"Sparkly one..."

Air.

".._.hand..."_

Pain.

She seemed to understand because he felt her move her hands to the floor and heard objects being spread on top of the concrete, then everything went black.

When he woke he had the stele in his left hand and two hands to his head shaking him awake. He tried moving his fingers and they didn't hurt. He didn't feel it at all! That was going to make things much more difficult.

His stomach hurt but his hands didn't and neither did his legs, he moved his arm up and placed it on top of the exposed flesh between the hem of his shirt and his boxers, both soaked in blood. His arms were not cooperating; they weighted tons and even with him trying hard to make them draw an iratze, they almost didn't move.

He would die soon enough, so why not try making himself useful at the upcoming war? With that in mind he drew the worst looking iratze of his life, the other runes that followed: blood replacement, lucidity and strength, were probably just as horrid looking. They didn't seem to help much tough, because his eyelids closed without his consent and he was back to the pitch black world.

When he woke up he felt horrible: his body hurt badly and so did his arms, which thankfully meant he was healing. He drew a couple more iratzes on random places, not as effective but he could move so it would have to do, and waited for them to take effect but they didn't seem to do anything. He could hear Manus honey voice in his head explaining that runes are not very magically strong, that they could heal and do other stuff but only to a certain extent, he already knew that when Magnus started explaining but he had listened to all of Magnus's lecture just so he could enjoy the moment.

He continued lying but moved his head to his right side hoping that that wouldn't make it hurt even more. The girl was still there. He was kind of shocked about that, he thought she would have disappeared after handing him the stelle, although he was also kind of happy about it. He didn't know why though, maybe he was just that screwed up by the whole situation.

Just mentally mentioning "the situation" made Magnus flash all over Alec's mind, again; Magnus' face, Magnus' body, Magnus' expressions, and all of the little habits picked up over the centuries.

Alec loved how Magnus would hold his mug filled with coffee and smell it for a while before taking the first gulp, it was like they weren't from the same world: in Alec's world no one took a second to appreciate the little things, there was always something more important to do. He loved that Magnus was different from anyone he knew. He also loved just being near Magnus, sitting on the sofa holding each other. He would stare at his beautiful boyfriend while said boyfriend watched silly mundane TV shows. He loved the occasional laughter echoing through the cozy apartment, the one Magnus had given him the key to. When there was no one else around, that was the place he loved the most in the whole world because it was theirs, well, Magnus', but it was the one place he had felt totally at ease in.

It was also at the warlock's apartment that Alec saw Magnus' true smile for the first time. Alec had been a good judge of character for a while but he only realized the warlock had never truly smiled in front of him when he saw, first handed, the smile that lit up his face magically; he saw it when Alec told him he loved him. Alec had thought it was obvious after the kiss in front of the Clave but apparently him saying it was what Magnus needed to show the beautiful smile. If Alec knew that, he would have said it earlier. The smile was not a pretend like most of the emotions the warlock paraded in front of people, it was a true, full and amazing smile, and it was by far one of Alec's best memories. In the end he wanted to know more about his loved and that was when they started fighting.

He was taken away from his reverie when the girl began pulling him, trying to make their way up the stairs and out of the subway. She might have tried to be gentle but the drag seemed to be even worse than his near death experience with Abbadon, since she pulled both his arms over his head and dragged him slowly through the staircase into the poorly lit street. Each step more agonizing than the last. Gazing up, barely awake, Alec wished he could see the stars, but all he saw was the blinking street light and the girl's hair, right above his face, swaying with the freezing New York breeze. He had never felt so alone.

**So..? What did you think? Tell me all about it, criticism is welcome (and so are compliments). I was going to make this chapter way longer but ending it here seemed better and in doing so I was able to post it sooner. I know that the majority of you don´t get where the story is going and the first chapters (until the third or fourth) will be following Alec, after that I pretend to write Magnus' part. This fic HAS a plot, I swear, I just haven't got there yet, don't give up on it.**

***THANK YOU for editing Alec's stupidities Black Hearted Tigress you are super^^ **

****if you want the story to continue please say so.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hi :D**

**It's been a while hasn't it?So I wrote this last week but decided to post a chapter per week, that's why it took so long.i hope you like it if you do please don't forget to review. Talk to you down there.**

*** the TMI series belongs to wonderful Cassandra Clare.**

Maybe it was the blood loss messing with his head but Alec could have sworn he heard Magnus telling him to wake up, as soon as he heard it he did his best to open his eyes, after all it was Magnus. When opening his eyelids disappointment washed over him, Magnus was nowhere to be seen the only thing waiting for him was a deserted room.

After some moments properly awakening everything flashed through his head, the walk leading to the subway where he would meet Camille in, Magnus appearing unexpected, Magnus breaking up with him, Alec crying for the first time since his fourteenth year, a vampire attacking him, pain, a girl clinging to him crying, dizziness, the stelle, the runes, the blackouts do to blood loss: in where he looped thousands of Magnus related memories, a street light flashing above the brown hair of his carrier while he was painfully dragged to somewhere unknown. He also remembered being a little happy that his family would never find his body, he had assumed those were his last moments and his death being private was a kind of small gift. He was also a bit sad that his last memories would be of Magnus's betrayed face, of Magnus walking away, of Magnus telling him he loved him but it didn't matter.

Alec wished he could have said he loved him too, that he was disgusted with his own pettiness, that he was so so sorry he had been more stupid than a water melon. Even though he didn't say that he loved Magnus the last time he had the chance to, he was glad he would never be able hurt the one most precious to him again. In what he thought were his last moments Magnus was what he thought of, it wasn't unexpected but it reassured Alec of just how much Magnus truly meant to him.

More memories rushed to him and he understood his situation as well as why his body hurt so much, he looked around dizzily: where the hell was he? The dark red walls surrounding him were unfamiliar, the furniture and the room were none he had memories of. He took another quick look at the room in case there was any treat he had missed and started to get up: his muscles, joints, bones, nerves…all of his body protested and hurt but he was able to manage a half up half down kind of posture and limp to the nearest window, if that could be called limping, he thought.

The view was of a west sided look of central Brooklin, he was inundated by Magnus, his perfectly cold apartment was somewhere in the same city, yet they were both so far away.

Magnus's apartment was cold whenever Alec was there, the warlock had taken it seriously when Alec told him he liked cold weather and cooler temperatures because it was simply impossible to have an always cool apartment like Magnus's was, or maybe Magnus just magically altered the temperature to force them to cuddle, which was very convenient since Alec used the excuse as often as possible, his shyness had prevented him from telling his boyfriend he wanted to be near or to just cuddle without warning, the coldness of the room was the perfect excuse. He absolutely loved to cuddle with Magnus, not that he had in any circumstance admitted to it, their bodies fit perfectly.

Before understanding they were as right as any other couple Alec had thought he needed to be with Magnus even if it was wrong, that theory was crushed many times along their relationship.

When they were together Alec would doubt his knowledge about same sex relationships and the concept neflings were made to believe about downworlders, he had thought he was a freak and simply a disgrace to his family and such; a single moment near Magnus was enough to wreck those kinds of thoughts. When they cuddled or talked Alec progressively forgot about the clave and the haters, when they kissed he lost all reason and forgot his parents and that was when Alec was FALLING in love with Magnus. After it Magnus became the center of his universe along with his family, but that was more than he ever dreamed of having: a person he loved more than anyone else was wonderful and scary. When they had sex it changed Alec's perspective even more, he knew all kinds of things about same sex relationships from the nefiling point of view, he knew they considered it a sin and a disgustful existence, no one talked about it, they acted like it didn't exist, and until proved the contrary he had thought he was the only one.

At every touch Magnus left a heated trace on his skin, every kiss and caress turned his world upside down, every trust made him roll his eyes and gasp, he screamed Magnus's name and held on to him for dear life, at some point he even begged for more and called the angels name.

On the next morning he wondered if he should be feeling guilt or something, he had just committed a big sinful thing, but that didn't seem to matter, he only felt a wonderful bliss and an extreme embarrassment for how much he had lost himself in it, he was pretty sure the neighbors heard it through Magnus's silence spells. His stupid pre-concepts about his nature and his relationship with a male downworlder were crushed again and again as they slept together, voiced their love, cuddled, or were simply talking and hanging out, it was proved wrong countless times in countless different ways. It wasn't wrong to be with Magnus, it was the most righteous he had felt in his life.

With both of them being so different physically and mentally, Magnus's experience may have had a lot to do with it, but to him Alec's first time was one of his best experiences, as were the ones that followed. Magnus eight hundred years of God knows what had definitely had something to do with it, but what really made the experience so memorable was that Magnus seemed to be in love with him just as much as he was in love with Magnus. He had given the warlock his soul and his body and he didn't regret it in the least.

From then on it was like the world telling was him it was ok for them to be together, he didn't feel like they were doing something wrong that should be frowned upon, it felt amazing.

Snapping himself out of Magnus-land he limped with his left hand on the wall keeping himself steady, not really steady but at least preventing him from falling. As he was getting to the slightly open door he heard steps and a yawn coming from somewhere beyond it, he immediately placed himself against the wall right next to the black Victorian styled door which was, he noticed, very unusual: Victorian doors were usually dark brown or pastel colored, he knew a lot of useless historical things. The steps came closer but before approaching the door the, light feet, person abruptly stopped and almost let something fall making a bit too much noise.

The door opened and Alec couldn't avoid a punch, making a complete fool of himself as he was expecting someone much taller. He punched the air. It was then that he realized he expected Camille to open the door, it didn't make sense but it was what he unconsciously expected.

The girl who opened the door was the same he met at the subway, she looked a bit startled, not because of Alec's surprise punch, but because of the exaggerated movement she made herself: almost falling face first on the carpeted floor, and drooping the tray she held. She was not used to her speed.

She gave him the same look as Isabelle when he had saved her from a scorpion demon on her third mission when she was twelve, they had the same ¨what just hapenned?¨ look and he thought they should be around the same age.

She took a breath and started collecting the fallen objects, there wasn't much on the tray to begin with just a glass of water, a heat up meal and some eating utensils, she looked at him like he had just scolded her looking down with her hands tense and holding each other at her lap, a merely visible pout, her shoulders narrowed, holding a messed up tray with a broken glass and a jumbled meal in a plastic box.

He stood frozen staring at the girl that looked just like himself when younger, he imagined Maryse giving him the ¨I'm mad, and it is your fault¨ look, he hated that look, he knew he had done something wrong but he never knew what, every time she gave him the look a million reasons seemed the possible reason but none was ever the right one. Until he knew better he had asked her what was she upset about or tried guessing, but she never gave him a straight answer, she would just sigh and go back to what she was doing, giving him the silent command to go away, when he realized it was best not to say anything he would look down and hold his hands in front of him, but unlike the girl he wouldn't pout or give any sign of being hurt, instead he would portrait he was sorry for what he did. He never found out what he had done wrong but after his mother called him to her office, there was always something he tried to change or get better at. As if naturally he put a hand on top of the girl's head. He sighed and shook his head, he had absolutely no idea what was happening with him, he consoling a vampire murderer.

The hand on her head had the opposite effect of what Alec expected: instead of looking at him after a moment or two, asking him what he was doing and recomposing herself, like Isabelle, Jace and Max would have done, she hugged herself and let out a quiet sob, Not knowing exactly what to do, he hugged her and patted her head.

A memory popped in his head: When he had watched a couple spoiling a child rot in a mundane tv show, Alec had blurted out:¨Are there real parents that would spoil a child till they became such awful human beings, like that boy?¨ and Magnus made a comprehensive and sad expression as he said ¨humans that had sad past experiences, like that couple¨ he pointed at the Tv and looked at Alec with beautiful yellow-green cat slited eyes¨ tend to spoil their children, it is understandable. ¨ he took a moment deep in thought, smirked and went back to his flirtatious mood ¨Don't you think so, lovely? ¨his voice hushed and his breath hot in Alecs ears…¨.

He wondered if he wanted to be kind to the girl because she was a child that resembled his child self. How would he have reacted to a stranger hugging him? he would have probably punched the person even if a hug was what he needed, a shadowhunter would never accept comfort because that is showing weakness, and it was even worse if the weakness was shown to a stranger and not the family.

¨What is your name?¨

Alec asked sobered up after remembering his father, he had also taught Alec to control his emotions, direct his thoughts and be objective, learning her name was exactly that. It was not because he wanted to form a real bond with the pitiful child, it was because she was the suspect of multiple deaths and an ally of known enemies of the Clave, it was only reasonable to confirm the facts by knowing her name: it should be Maureen B-something, for a quarter of a second he wished her name was Caroline or Judy, anything but Maureen.

¨Maureen¨

She said stopping the crying and letting go of him hesitantly. He almost let out a sigh.

¨Its Maureen Brown¨

She flashed a very fake and in no way believable smile, pushing the smashed tray out the room with her bare feet, turning and standing in front of him who hadn't moved an inch.

¨I'm sorry for hugging you like that…¨ ¨…again…¨

At the end of the sentence she looked down once more and passed her hands up and down her pink dress in a fake attempt to unwrinkled it. If Alec didn't have a very good hearing he wouldn't have heard the last word.

¨That's ok¨

He said managing to make it sound as if he wasn't as tired as he felt. He was great at pretending everything was fine, and that he did.

¨so…why am I here? Why are you here?¨

Everything was said slowly, not to freak her out and to calm him down as well. He didn't know why he cared for her but he did, so he should verify the Claves accusations.

¨Who's apartment is this?¨

Still no answer, she looked willing to answer but thinking too much on each question. He was almost giving up on it when she blurted out a bit too quickly.

¨I thought you were dead…¨

She spoke very softly and it was more a hushed scream than a sentence in a conversation. She took a breath to steady herself, held the tears and continued, slower this time.

¨I didn't want you to die…so…I thought, if…if I brought you here… you would have a better chance, the subway was cold, filthy and all…so…¨

¨…and you did, you are better¨

She smiled at the last affirmation, almost like a smirk but sadder, and wiped a tear that was threatening to fall.

¨This is my apartment now, it's very pretty isn't it?¨

There wasn't joy on hear words like she was trying fake, and the smile was a ridicule parody of a real one, it was like she wanted to scream but couldn't do it, Alec knew that feeling way too well.

¨All of it is mine know.¨

She had an expression of desperation. She slid to the floor with her back to the wall. He was in front of her, still up but that was in itself quite a challenge, seeing her hugging her knees, pressed to the wall, he let his muscles relax and ache as he maneuvered himself to be sliding down the wall beside her, dropping with a tud.

¨Calm down.¨

He stated with a quiet voice, noticing she was shaking he looked away, there was a limited amount of emotion he would express in front of a potential enemy he gazed through the window and added, it was almost a whisper.

¨What do you mean by ¨All of it¨ ?¨

He was scared of the answer knowing there were many things he needed to know but didn't really want to.

¨By¨all¨ I mean _really_ all that was hers…like….like her jurally, her money, her house…her clan…¨

Maureen's voice trembled and cracked at the word clan, she added in a pitiful voice.

¨What do I do?...I killed her….I killed people…She said I had to, that if I didn't I would die …hungry….but now it's different, this one was different…why did I do it?…all of them asked me why but I never thought….I just…I killed them…and now…¨ She talked very fast and her words were jumbled, she was hugging her knees. Holding her head up she asked.

¨...what do I do?¨

After that she buried her face in her knees and shook, sobbing hard. He had to ask, and he did so in a reassuring toneless.

¨Who is ¨she¨?the one you killed?¨

He knew the answer, but wanted to be wrong, if he was right than he was with the new head of the night's children of New York and the only way she was the head was if she somehow over powered and substituted Camille, but how?

¨The blond vampire, that is…her name was Ca…Ca¨

Giving up on the name she whispered with her voice even lower and almost over taken by her sobs.

¨ ….I killed her…and now a bunch of scary people is showing up and…and…¨

Now looking at him with red flooded eyes, Maureen blurted out .

¨You are a good guy right? I know you are one of the good ones. I know you aren't human either so you should help me right? I mean I thought maybe…you would so….i know I'm bad but, wont….you …help me?….please help me¨

Her voice cracked several times and he barely understood what she said, at the middle of it he looked away, and as she finished he heard her muffled crying. He would not look at her, he decided to continue looking through the window .He ignored her sobs but put a hand on her head. Think! He yelled at himself mentally.

She was new, she had not been an vampire for more than five months, the first person she had met after becoming a vampire was Lilith, she didn't seem used to shadowhunters so she is not a spy or very knowledgeable of the shadow world, their meeting was most definitely unintentional. If she wanted to become the head, which she didn't look like she did, killing Camille wouldn't be the most logical way, even if she killed Camille and proved to have done it the nights children wouldn't just accept her as their leader, the night's children and the moon's children are very different on that aspect. There had to be an explanation of why and how she became the head, vampires choose their head and she was not nearly experienced enough to be even considered as a leader, without a mentor she wouldn't know her way around downworld, that much was clear, so Lilith would have had to have helped her.

Those were all reasonable assumptions, the major flaw was: why would Lilith care for a new vampire? Being so weakened by the mark of Caim incident, having a big part in Jonathan morgnstern's evil plan and all, a baby-vampire shouldn't have even tickled her interest.

While thinking he looked at the night sky: turning purple and then orange. He had patted Maureen's head as she cried and eventually dozed off. He didn't know why he had believed everything the girl said, but he had. He didn't know why he let her sleep with her head to his arm, like Isabelle used to, but he did. After Isabelle stopped sleeping in his room when she was upset, he hadn't had any close relationships for years, and apart from Magnus and his siblings Maureen was the second person he had been naturally friendly to, the first had been Jace.

There was something weird about this whole situation and he needed to know what, needed to be doing something, needed to be useful or he would cry thinking of Magnus's purple hair, colorful and beautiful like the sky he looked at. He moved Maureen from her uncomfortable looking position to the wooden floor and got up.

After closing up the curtains, he started searching the perimeter of what now he knew, was Camille's apartment. Even though he had drowned noiseless runes it proved to be unnecessary, the only ones in the tow bedroom apartment were Maureen and himself, the apartment was stylish but old fashioned, it had polished wooden floors, some rooms had velvet carpet on it, and Victorian like furniture whit Victorian over all features, everything was very well maintained and clean but it didn't seem to be inhabited. Alec made a mental note: the house was just like its owner, beautiful but somehow weirdly hollow. If Maureen hadn't killed her Alec would've.

He finished his search and thankfully: found nothing or no one suspicious, what the girl told him seemed to be the truth, so far. Alec grabbed a blanket and joined Maureen at the cold floor, he wouldn't sleep on the same bed Camille had, he threw the blanket over both of them and prayed Magnus wouldn't visit him in his sleep like he did when Alec was awake, it was painful enough thinking of him when he could snap out of it, a nightmare would be unbearable.

**^^ don't forget to review Kay?**


	4. Chapter 4

**HEY, it's been a while. Just reminding you I'm not Cassandra Clare so I don't own TMI, or the characters. Enjoy.**

**For all the kind souls who reviewed it or followed or favorited: THANK YOU :DD**

Alec's dreams had always been very realistic and this one hadn't been an exception.

The city was filled with demons, and every shadowhunter and downworlder knew they belonged to Jonathan Morgenstern's army. They were there to kill whoever they found fit even if they were children or naïve mundanes. Many desperate people tried to ally themselves or surrender but the demons would just slaughter who went pleading for mercy.

In the middle of the confusion Alec's mind was on Magnus, he abandoned his post at his parabatai's side, not that Jace had noticed anything all of his attention was on Clary standing next him, and as soon as he had the chance to, he ran for Magnus.

He searched everywhere he thought relevant, not finding the glitter-full face on none of those places and without other options, he continued running blindly trough the chaos his heart leaping on his chest.

Until he knew what loving a high warlock meant, he hadn't even thought about what that post implied. When he started to spend time, real day-to-day time, with Magnus, he noticed that being a high warlock was indeed a complicated job: Magnus dealt with a lot of dangerous situations and twice as much of delicate ones, some of them would eventually go against the clients wish and, unreasonably, some clients would become pissed.

Some of Magnus past-clients or acquitted enemies would actually act on their weird formed hate, what generated, on the three months Alec practically lived with Magnus, seven attempts of murder. SEVEN that was how many times people tried to KILL the most important existence of his life, and that was only on the three months he was there, only the Angel knew how many times that had happened before.

When the first attempt happened, Alec almost killed the knife welding werewolf: Yes the werewolf had been plain stupid if he thought he would be able to kill a high warlock with a knife, but the fact remained, even it was a sorry excuse of one, it had been a fucking murder attempt! He couldn't get his head around on why Magnus had ignored, whole heartily, the importance of it. He hadn't even been pissed about it.

Upon seeing that Magnus didn't seem to be affected by it, AT ALL, Alec thought his boyfriend was crazy. He even formulated a theory that Magnus's brain had suffered some damage because of the many years of use, he discarded that theory early enough so nobody came to know about it but he still thought Magnus was a little more crazy than he had initially thought, he only let it slid because he didn't want to cause extra problems and stress his boyfriend even more, there was already a lot of strain on their relationship with the whole Immortality thing.

On the third attempt, another werewolf, Alec couldn't hold his tong: he shouted at Magnus with as much concern and misplaced anger as he felt.

¨Why do you act like being attacked on a daily basis is normal?! Don't you see this is wrong in way to many levels? You should at least be a little concern about, have you ever thought there shouldn't be so many people trying to KILL you, Magnus? Can't you be more careful about it, take preventive actions for Raziel's sake, you are like an easy prey dangling in front of hungry lions.¨

Magnus had looked a bit perplexed by Alec's sudden outburst, it didn't happen much, but just as soon as it came, the look was replaced by the knowing smirk he usually put on when Alec had asked what Magnus considered stupid questions, there was also a hint of something Alec couldn't quite put his finger on, it was like pity or hurt, he didn't know why though.

There were other two attempts before Magnus finally saw it fit to answer his questions, which the green eyed one had dragged as much as possible, annoying Alec to his core since the teen wouldn't dwell under Magnus's tease and plead for the answer. Somehow the past discussion had turned into a sexual argument.

He was healing Alec's new burn wounds, results from poisoned fairy dust thrown at his chest, looking up from Alec's injuries to his face, he answered.

¨To me it's normal.¨ he said softly, waiting for Alec to understand what he was talking about.

¨ I've been alive for a long time Alexander, and I have as many enemies as the sky has stars¨ before Alec could comment about the impossibility of the statement, since there are way too many stars and not that many people on Earth, Magnus arched his brow as to say ¨don't you dare.¨.

After effectively shutting Alec up and taking a breath he locked their eyes and continued, letting a sigh out.

¨Maybe not as many as there are starts, but you get my point. I don't think it is healthy or ¨normal¨, but it is how it is, so I just got to live with it¨ he gave a tired smile and Alec knew that discussion had just ended, he still wanted to try beating some sense into Magnus thick head but he didn't get the chance, because said warlock scooped him from the floor and carried him to bed, princess style, with Alec protesting it for all of the 10 meters that separated the front door and their bed. After some delightful hours on Magnus's bed he couldn't care less about the world outside it, even if he knew it was filled with demons and murderess he just wanted to spend the rest of his life there: he and his beloved, their limbs tangled, sweat running down his back, warm sheets and a heated kisses.

As memories flashed through his head he ran, desperately searching for Magnus's familiar face. Track spells didn't work on powerful warlocks such as Magnus, so Alec had to search for him ¨mundane stile ¨. He had opted to be optimistic: since he wasn't able to find him, maybe the enemy wouldn't be either.

He had been searching for some good two hours and he was very tired but continued none less, without allowing his feet any break from the fast pace, if he hadn't been so tired he wouldn't have noticed what had he tripped over, he wouldn't have tripped in the first place. He fell to the ground. Seeing who he had tumbled over, his blood chilled in his veins, it was Magnus.

Magnus's face was as whiter than Alec had ever seen it, his expression of pure pain; he was laying on the exit of a narrow alley, slightly hidden from the uproar happening out of it. Alec maneuvered quickly and in a heartbeat he was between the two meters high demon and Magnus's limp and bloody form. The demon's mouth opened as it ran towards them, showing his three lairs of razor sharp teeth, probably trying to finish his job on Magnus. Alec let out a gasp, but his stints seemed more reliable than his mind, when he noticed it he had mechanically shot an arrow through the demons thorax and was running towards it with his seraph blade raised. The fight dragged for a bit, because all of Alec's attention was on the person lying behind him.

He somehow finished the demon and was Kneeling beside his ex-boyfriend, the prefix ex pained him a little, but Magnus's blood on the floors pained him more than A LITTLE, it was despairing and it made his mind stop working.

A stream of dark half-demon blood had been pouring from a bite wound as big as the left side of Magnus's lean body for a while, soaking his signature colorful dress-shirt, at that point Alec had no idea of just how much blood had Magnus lost but it seemed to be way too much for his immortal body to heal, for Magnus was drifting from conscious to unconscious and back.

Seeing the lights going out of Magnus's eyes as they slowly vanished completely was worse than anything he knew of, it caused a heart crushing fear and a terror like he had never even thought existed.

His brother's death had been more than life wrecking, but actually SEEING Magnus dying was many, many times worse than anything Alec could have imagined. He would be as good as dead if he lost him.

He understood death, but since he had only about a hand full of people he actually cared for, he hadn't experienced anything worse than his brother's death and after it the only thing that made him move forward had been Magnus's never ending love.

Touching the dying man's cheeks Alec felt tears stream down his own, ¨ don't die Mag¨his dream version pleaded over and over cupping the ex-lovers face.

¨I love you¨

¨don't fall asleep, look at me¨

¨please babe, just open your eyes¨

¨Magnus!¨ the words passing his lip were merely hushed whispers.

Magnus hadn't reacted to Alec's pleadings or the fact that the boy was trying to physically prevent any more blood loss, pressing ineffectively, the once honey skinned torso.

Upon seeing Magnus's eyes fall shut for good Alec forgot all reason. He hugged him holding on for dear life to the lifeless body like it could somehow prevent his death. He rocked back and forth frenetically with Magnus's heavy frame in his awkward embrace, muttering pitifully.

¨come back, please don't die…please come back to me…MAG I LOVE YOU.I love you so much…don't die, stay with me please open your eyes¨

Of course, the body didn't react; it wasn't capable of hearing Alec's desperate crying.

The pleading went on for some minutes.

Hearing no answer Alec resumed to crying and screaming his beloved's name. The sounds his dream self let out were unimaginably desperate.

Suddenly Alec was somewhere else, Magnus's loft, he noticed. So far he had watched his dream version suffer, but as the other Alec slit his wrists laying on Magnus comfy couch, he couldn't help but understand the action, HE might do the same if Magnus die. The boy slashed against the tendons making deep cuts, blood dripping to the electric blue rug, slowly and painfully. The pain was the only reminder of reality, he had made the cut the most hurtful way possible for it to serve as a distraction, since everything else was Magnus and that hurt much more.

Waking up tearful and gasping he remembered only parts of the dream. He was used to waking up from terrible nightmares, even the occasional ¨wake up screaming¨ routine was not unusual, but this dream had been different. Waking up from it was like almost drowning had been: realizing he was still alive, he gasped for air. Until gasping turned into hyperventilating then he held his knees to his chest and repeated ¨calm down¨ on his head, over and over mechanically, till his breathing got even. Both situations had led to him being extremely tired, the biggest difference was that when he had almost drowned and started hyperventilating Magnus had been there, rubbing his hands along Alec's back, drawing gentle circles on it.

What made him the saddest was that if only dream-Magnus had called him he would have never let him die like that, but real-Magnus wouldn't have called him either, because now they were supposed to avoid each other since they were only acquaintances, so he was to not call Magnus either, even if all he wanted was to hear the low voice close to his ear the voice that always made his skin prickle and his heart to beat faster.

Not calling Magnus would be very difficult but at least he didn't have his phone to tempt him, he had lost it somewhere before entering Camille's apartment, he had assumed he lost it for the lack of seeing it on last night's search. He hadn't been flawless on the search but he did search inside drawers and the sort, even if hastily. The girl hadn't hidden it.

Magnus dying form was printed on the inside of Alec's mind; his blood smearing the pavement, even the demon was clear and vivid, all of the sharp teeth perfect to its little details. It was incredible how Alec could remember the littlest things, and he hated it. His whole body shook in fear: he had thought of his death before and he could say he was even prepared for it, but Magnus's death was a totally different matter, that possibility frightened the lungs out of him.

He had considered turning Magnus a mortal being, but that was different, that way he would have a life's long worth of time, and they would be together. Even when he had taken some time to consider a mortal Magnus as an option, thirty minutes of consideration made the possibility frightening and the decision un makeable: yes he wanted them to have a ¨as normal as possible life¨ together but risking weakening Magnus in any way, when they lived in such a catastrophically dangerous world was an stupid idea. The world both of them live in demands as much protective measures as possible, so a mortal Magnus was NOT a viable solution to the ¨immortality¨ issue on their relationship, he regretted asking Camille for time to think about. The ¨time¨ he had asked for had turned out to be 30 deep-in-thought minutes, on his and Magnus's room at the Brookling flat.

Shaking his head and, only now, awakening his bashed body, made him aware of how bad of a shape he was in. His stomach was a big piece of raw and tender flesh that hurt not only from the inside but from the outside as well, his legs were numb and he was way too dizzy for someone who slept for as long as he had, which he estimated had been between six and nine hours.

The small lump beneath the blanket caught his attention, it moved as if searching for the hem of it. A light brown haired head appeared from it very close to him, almost touching his chin. He pulled the fancy cover down and the tiny pail face he expect took in their closeness, instead of withdrawing, like he thought she would, she just looked down with an embarrassed face.

Even being obviously embarrassed she didn't move an inch from their close position. When he tried to withdraw and get up he almost fell slipping his hand on the slick cover fabric, for a mili second he was perplexed the covers were slick, what kind of fabric was it? was it silk?it didn't seem like it.

She was the one who made him actually fall from his almost falling position. She hugged him to prevent the fall but it only made him lose balance and take her with him to the close floor. They fell from a sitting height, not even ten centimeters, but it was enough to make his whole body spasm involuntarily, as she upped herself off of him he bit his lips. He would never admit he was hurt or in bad shape in front of pretty much anyone, especially potential enemies, and Maureen seamed, hopefully, clueless to it.

Both found a close but not too close position in where they were sharing the blanket, which he really needed because he was shaking from head to toe from what he recognized as blood loss induced cold, he knew the temperature was not that low but he felt like the room was as cold as the inside of an industrial freezer.

After some minutes of gazing around randomly he was considering saying ¨good morning¨ or some kind of greeting just so he could break the weird silence creping on the room, but before he could attempt a very uncharacteristic greeting his stomach made him the kindness of breaking the awkwardness.

He couldn't help blushing at the noise of his rumbling belly it was just so weird, all of it was just incredibly weird. Maureen looked away from her hands, which had been playing with the hem of the weird fabric of the blanket, up at him.

He was a bit happy seeing her blushing even more than him, he was immediately more relaxed. He stood with some difficult, but the pain was bearable enough, and as the girl followed he strode off the room, he let the curtains down reminding himself she was a dangerous vampire.

The dangerous vampire fact was difficult to keep in mind when both of them got the kitchen unbelievably dirty, how they had managed to get the counter, three pans and pretty much all of the cooking utensils messed up was beyond him, but it had been….fun. It had been easy, spending the morning with her, she was silly and childlike, he hadn't expected to be so immerse in such light mood like that, it was kind of bizarre how they just spend the morning making pancakes and exploring the house.

Maureen hadn't said much and he hadn't either, but even if she wasn't talking he could tell she had been raised fairly well. She was curious and when he started looking around, he didn't know what for exactly, she followed him and eventually started to get interested by the things inside the drawers and almost giddy when she found a sort of notebook, hidden under the carpet.

He had tried to force himself to ask more about what was going on, but the chance hadn't appeared.

The expedition through the house, he now knew, none of them had ever been on, revealed nothing of importance; a couple of mildly interesting notes about crimes the blond had committed over the last century and some bank account numbers. The small note book Maureen had found was actually, Alec suspected, Camille's diary and it was by far the most relevant item they had found. There should be some things he would like to know in there, maybe even a couple the Clave would like to know about, but since he didn't speak whatever language it was written in, and neither did Maureen he had asked, he just shoved it on his jeans pockets which had dry blood all over it.

They had woken up around nine and it was already noon, so when he heard a whimper from where she was standing Alec knew what it was.

The whole time she had been searching and getting more comfortable around him, he noticed more and more that even though everything indicated she was a powerful vampire she wasn't used to it. She kept using too much force to do things and sometimes she would even trip because she walked too fast, it was downright disconcerting, if she was such a good fighter that she had killed Camille, why was she so unused to her knew body? Most vampires got used to their bodies in less than a month and after it they were annoyingly graceful, so why hadn't she?

He turned around quickly and saw what he feared, two blood drops originating on her lower lip caused by her spread out fangs. If she wasn't used to her agility and strength there was no way she had her blood business in check, He had tried to keep his mind out of Magnus thinking about her conditions around 10:30, he hadn't succeeded taking Magnus's hands from his thoughts how it felt seemed engraved on his skin, but he had been right, she didn't have her blood lust under control.

She put her hands over her mouth and ran out of the room; he had expected her to pounce on him. For unknown reasons, he smirked a little knowing she had enough restraint to run away.

He put the book about the Roman Empire back to its place on the shelf and went after her, if he was going to help that was as good as a time as any other.

**Hi :D how is it going? I wasn't going to write half of this chap because there isn't many of the plot in it but it looked important, because know you know a bit more of what Alec feels towards Magnus. Maureen is important to the story because she is the one to give Alec the chance to be stupid ( the title makes sense ) so tell me if you want the next chap to be from Magnuss POV or Alecs. It might take a couple more chapters for you to understand where this is going bit don't give up on it yeh? Don't forget to review, criticism helps me and compliments are my fuel so…**

**Bye ^^.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hi : ) Enjoy the chap and don't forget I don't own TMI, Cassandra Clare does.**

**As always thank you so very much for the reviews and the follows and favorites ^^**

**I won't put names cause the person might not like it but I really liked all of the reviews and criticism and opinions were very welcomed.**

**MAGNUS POV:**

His knuckles were bleeding: he had never been the kind to punch things when upset but, as always, Alec brought surprisingly strong emotions out of him.

The whole time after punching his bathroom mirror he stood silent, just looking at his injured hand as it healed itself. It was so rare for him to lose control like that, he couldn't even remember how many years had gone by since he had last punched an unanimated object: you have to be ruled by emotions to manage random acts like that, and Magnus was not ruled by his emotions very often.

He had envied mortals, among other things, for their capability of having so many emotions, throughout the years it had been one of the few things that could actually interest him for an extended period of time; to just watch as they got older and older and their flame continued burning strong in their chests, in some it was so vivid it was mesmerizing.

Lost in his thoughts he almost ignored the annoying knock on his door but it was too demanding to be ignored, he instantly knew it was either a client in a life or death situation or a huge pain in the ass; decided to make the knocking stop he went to answer it, after all :the whole shut-himself-out-of-the-world thing wasn't working for him like it had in the sixties.

As soon as he managed to restore the mirror, he threw a yellow kimono over his shoulders, put some makeup to cover his spoiled complexion and walked slowly towards the door; even if he was in desperate need of a distraction it was no excuse to look desperate.

**JACES POV:**

¨Finally¨ He heard himself complaining when the door opened.

¨Shit!¨

It was his instant reaction to an almost naked Magnus opening the door. Covering his eyes he continued.

¨cover yourself would you? Not every lightwood likes to see your private parts so late in the evening, it will give me nightmares!¨

He felt Izzy's elbow nudging his ribs

¨What?¨ He gave her a look.

¨It's not like you wanted to see it either! You will probably have nightmares about a huge canary yellow monster too or are you denying it?. ¨

He said rubbing his hands over his aching ribs with an obnoxious smirk. She responded by rolling her eyes at him and turning to face Magnus with her arms crossed.

They had just killed a bunch of demons over the east side; he was sore and missing clary, his mood totally rotten. He just wanted to go home, Izzy was worrying too much.

To him it was obvious Alec had just missed the calls, no need to make a big deal out of it and there was certainly no need for them to go all the way to Brookling to inform their brother that his cellphone was off or that he shouldn't ignore the call just because he was having sex or something, he would notice that soon enough and probably feel guilty about it; knowing Alec he would go to extend to say he was sorry even though if it was anyone else they would just shrug it off.

He thought about it once more: there was no need to tell Alec he owned them one, he would come to that conclusion on his own: it's true that if Alec had gone with them, Jace wouldn't be so sore; his brother would have had his back. It was also true that if his parabatai had been there his mood wouldn't be so bad since Alec was a master at appeasing his sibling's moods, so it comes Jace's conclusion: THERE WAS NO NEED, WHAT SO EVER, FOR IZZY TO HAVE DRAGGED HIM, ACROSS THE CITY, ON FOOT, JUST TO ANNOY HIS BROTHER WITH UNNECESSARY BLABBERING.

He ignored Izzy and the warlock so he wouldn't snap at them, looked away and though about Clary and about hurrying to Clary's side the minute he found himself free.

**ISABELL'S POV:**

Ignoring her idiotic brother she turned and stared at the owner of the Brookling flat her oldest brother spent so much time in.

Taking Magnus's appearance in, she couldn't quite place what but he looked…off. Maybe it was because he hadn't teased Jace back or because he wasn't all glittered up; in her head Magnus had always been so full of life, with his weird personality and loud mouth, so his lack of energy was something _normal_ that she could quite fit with her mental image of him. She was over analyzing again; she reminded herself that it was a bad habit of hers.

Hearing Jace making annoying sounds taping his shoes on the stairs, made her even more pissed at him, at this point she was considering murdering her brother if he continued with the attitude problem. Seriously! How annoying can a person get in such a short period of time?

Jace had been being a pain in the ass for the last day or so, can't he just suck it up like any good shadowhunter would and be a bearable company during missions?

Since he came back and stopped being Jonathan's live in pet he has been the most annoying mother fucker ever, she could understand that, but it was a fucking DAY! Turn the douchebag act down a level would you?!

First of all: how the hell could someone be so sickening in love with another person?She had seen many people in love before, but Jace and Clary had been taking it to a whole new level: they had been together every single second since Clary finally broke in that infirmary, and ohh! Had they been recovering the lost time.

Needless to say that after the glowing fire inside him turned into nothing more than a spark they had been even more sickening in love with each other. Being his sister and being a fan of true love in general she was happy that things were going well with them, that she and Simon had been fairly well themselves but, had been forced apart from Simon during one of their nicest date, a fay's party, and being stuck with Jace, who was acting like a moody son of a bitch about being away from Clary even though it hadn't been more than a day, was sucking big time.

Alec not being there had made the hunt even more stressful, he had always been the one to keep them level headed, without him Jace and Isabelle had fought more than twenty times in a day.

She just wanted to get this stuff over with and go see Simon, maybe they could still finish their date, in-house.

Now staring at Magnus' eyes she tried to manage a not so annoyed look and asked going straight to the point.

¨Where is him?¨

He seemed to want her to go away immediately but not being fazed easily she choose to role her eyes at Magnus's clueless face and continued.

¨Anyway, and just so you know I don't care what kind of things you were both up to or if I'm interrupting you, tell my lazy brother Alec to pick his cell phone up, for someone who fusses about always picking it up he isn't being a hell of a role model. ¨

She commented a little louder so Alec could hear from inside the flat, where she was fairly certain he was hidden.

¨It seems he forgot to charge it or take it off of silent mode, 'cause we've called him a couple of times and he hasn't answered.

Also, do tell him that he owns us a big time, while you were both enjoying yourselves, we covered for him and did the job ourselves. ¨

She mumbled the last part in a smirking tone, it was loud enough for Magnus to hear and hopefully Alec. Yes, maybe she was being a bit bitchy but come on, she had had her date interrupted, she had the right to be upset with her big brother; he could've at least make it easier to bear with jace's bickering ,plus if he had helped the hunt would have been quicker.

Magnus flinched a little at her statement and she was suddenly confused; Magnus rarely flinched, actually that had probably been the first time she saw him do it. Why though?

His features hardened slightly.

¨Tell him yourself, he is not in here. He hasn't since three days ago. Have you even looked inside the institute before coming here and demanding attention? He is probably locked up in his room, so why don't you look there before bursting into my house and interrupting my much needed sleep. I'm not in the mood to listen to shadowhunter problems or golden boy's bickering.

Get out.¨

And just like that Magnus closed the door on their faces. He had said every word with a harsh voice while looking at her with a death glare, like he didn't even know her. What the hell is going on in here?! She felt herself frowning and her mouth continued open awkwardly for a few seconds.

It had been weird that Alec hadn't answered his cell but, he was shadowhunter's basics poster boy, and why was Magnus being so unpleasant? since he met Alec he had accommodated all of the lightwood family, with the exception of Jace, and he had treated them well in all of their meetings, even when Magnus and Alec weren't in good terms he had acted cordially to all of them, his current attitude was like a 180 flip.

She was starting to have a bad feeling about this, had they fought ? Was that why Alec hadn't answered and Magnus was in such a bad mood?

Shrugging her feeling off she turned around, making noise as she stomped down the stairs of Magnus's apartment with her one and a half cm boots, and started to prepare what she was going to report about the demons to her mother, the better she had it figured out in her head the quicker she could call Simon and dump Jace's ass.

**MAGNUSS POV:**

He closed the door on their faces with a scow on his face, he was even more pissed with Alec; so he hadn't told anyone about their break up. Magnus had expected the discretion about their break up from Alec; after all he was a shy person so he wouldn't have told anyone, but for some reason he had wished the boy would be so broken hearted about it that he would have told his siblings at least part of it, he was pissed at Alec but he still wanted him to have someone to lean on, that didn't seem to be the case and now he was even more worried about him.

A long time ago Magnus had noticed Alec told his siblings things, only when he couldn't handle it on his own, and until this point that had happened just one or two times, so when Isabelle and golden boy appeared on his door ,for a second ,he wished that they were there to yell at him for leaving their brother but that hadn't been the case, he thought that maybe if someone told him out loud that he had made the biggest mistake of his life: that Alexander was young and didn't know what he was doing when he wished to make him mortal, that he would realize they were right and it had all been a terrible mistake.

He knew that hadn't been the case tough. Alexander was far from stupid, and Magnus was just trying to find excuses; because he was too in love with the boy, His body was screaming for Alec's slightly colder one and his mind was screaming that the shadowhunter would be the biggest mistake of his immortal life.

Snapping out of it he went back to what had just happened: had the teens noticed anything out of place in his appearance? They didn't seem to.

But what if they did ?it's not like what they thought or didn't, had anything to do with him, at least not anymore, he didn't have any real link to the lightwoods, so why care about it? That would probably be the last time he would see any of the teenagers while they were still TEENAGERS.

No biggy, he was used to that.

He took the first steps back to his bedroom and got his mind returning to ¨Alec mood¨.

Thinking about Alec had been surprisingly unsettling since the very first time: Magnus remembered the pull emanating from the boy as he came into his field of vision, he had probably felt a magnetic attraction like that maybe a hand full of times in his 800 years of age, it was immediately obvious to him that he needed to get to know the boy, one thing he had learned in his life was to appreciate naturally magical things, and that pull was magical by definition.

He followed the magical feeling moving through the hundreds of guests flooding his apartment, but unfortunately he was stopped before getting to the source of it.

The golden piece of gorgeousness that had interfered came close to him followed by a tall brunet and a tiny redhead: Clary, he had recognized the girl the moment she walked in, his signature on her mind flashing like a lightened sign to his warlocks eyes, a little guilt manifested itself as a coldness in his stomach, bothering him, but then again: there was always something he felt guilty about, those emotions tended to be superficial; he felt somewhat guilty but it wasn't enough to make him care for her much.

The one he felt the attraction to was hidden behind his friends, black and blue he noticed: his favorite combination. At taking him in the best he could, in a dark room filled with flashing lights, he smirked wickedly; the boy was delicious. Only moments after, he had all of his attention stolen by goldy locks and Clary, the carrier of his master piece.

The agitated teenagers were starting to bother him, he understood they wanted answers and he was compelled to give it to them, but did the ¨Jake?¨ one really had to be so forceful and annoying?

He took them to his study and managed their questions as smoothly as possible, which wasn't very, since he was thinking about the cutest red face the black-blue one had showed him when he had made his most teasing face and pronounced every word the most sexy way possible while signalating at him:¨The hot one¨ . His reaction had been so cute

¨the next few months are going to be boredom free¨. He thought, grinning from his lips to his ears, when the shadowhunters had left and he had slipped his phone number into the cutie's pocket, nice butt by the way, he returned his flat to its knew design and went to bed.

He hadn't been completely wrong, for the next months he hadn't been bored, what he hadn't expected was to feel so hopeless when the time for them to part arrived.

One more tear rolled down his cheek.

The shock of actually seeing Alexander on the subway Camille had told him about was lingering on his head: He had NEVER thought Alec would do something like that, something like betraying him, betraying his trust, but he had.

The person he was starting to love more than anybody before, had been planning to make his life shorter, and that wasn't even what pained him the most; it was the fact that his lovable boyfriend wanted to deny a huge part of him. Alec, the one that accepted every flaw his family members had, the one that was selfless to the point of hurting himself to rescue a kitten; yes that had actually happened, couldn't accept him for who he was even if that happened to be a cursed creature.

One of the cutest memories he had of Alec came rushing to him even as he tried to keep on blaming Alec on his head, he ended up going back in time and remembering why he was suffering so much in the first place: He loved his cute nineteen years old shadowhunter boyfriend, he loved everything about him.

They were walking from the café a couple of blocks away from the institute, heading for his apartment, when both heard a meowing noise, Magnus continued walking feeling the slightest of guilts hunting his stomach but not moving a finger to go look for the source of all the meowing; with so much rain pouring down their head he wanted to get to his room as soon as possible, rip Alec's sweater off and map his gorgeous body with his tong, savoring every second of the many hours he would make the shadowhunter scream his name.

Alec stopped suddenly and looked at the sidewalk, a black coffee in his right hand and the left stuffed in his pocket; his soaked black ink locks adding a dramatic tone to the scene.

¨Alec?¨

He was biting his lower lip, a habit Magnus had picked up on their first date: he bit his lip when he was having trouble voicing his thoughts.

¨Come on hon, it's very cold and we are very, very wet, if you don't mind can we discuss it at home? That is; if you still want to talk while I rip of your sweater and warm you up just the way you like it.¨He winked maliciously.

He looked at Alec's already flushed cheeks lightly, hoping it wasn't a big deal and he wasn't going to say he had to go back to the institute, to his family, like he had so many times before, but right then he was supposed to be free so Magnus hoped that that wasn't the case. He reached to turn Alec's chin up so he could look at the shadow hunter's bright blue eyes and know if he was troubled enough to leave him or not, but before he could move the boy's chin up the sapphire blue eyes were suddenly staring at his green ones reluctantly, then Alec spoke softly biting his lips occasionally.

¨You go ahead. I, I'm going to be right behind you, so… be there soon kay?¨

His eyes lost the confidence as he spoke and were, again, fixated to the pavement.

¨Alexander are you trying to tell me you are going to ditch me tonight?¨

I asked crocking my eyebrow in disbelief he wasn't, was he?

he wasn't supposed to have a reason to, not today; he had had a fight with his father and hadn't contacted Magnus for a WEEK; when he finally returned one of the warlock's calls he set up a meeting at the café and as soon as Magnus sat in front of him the boy blurted out ¨I love you¨ and after calming down a little he told Magnus his father didn't accept him after all, but he made his point saying that that wouldn't interfere with what he felt for Magnus, that he loved Magnus and what anyone thought about it was something he was willing to live with.

Magnus had wanted to say that that wasn't necessarily how it was going to go, that not everybody would think badly of him, but the boy had such a somber look that he stopped himself short; Alec had just gone against his father for him, because his own father didn't accept him, according to Magnus's text book the boy had the right to be as negative as he wanted to.

He wasn't going to turn around and leave Magnus standing alone in the rain, they weren't in a freaking tragedy, so what was it that made him stand his ground and ignore Magnus's pull at his arm?

¨Okay, what is it?¨

If he wasn't going to move before talking than at least he could say it faster, even though his shyness was one of his cute points and it was making Magnus even more impatient: he wanted to kiss the soft rosy lips in front of him, so they had to get home asap.

Alec looked up tentatively and whispered.

¨the cat.¨

Hearing another desperate meow Magnus crossed his arms and let tout a sight; if Alec stopped biting his lip making such a sexy, and distracting, expression Magnus would have understood, but he hadn't.

¨What?¨

¨I'm going to look for it. I will be right behind you so wait for me with a towel ok? ¨

The boy in front of him gave the shy smile that made Magnus's heart skip a beat and turned around. He wasn't going to just leave Alexander behind like that. He smirked, for he was in love with the cutest person ever, and discarding Alec's initial refusal, he followed his flushed Alexander in search for the meowing figure.

It took less than two minutes to find it, as soon as they realized it was stuck on the pseudo river formed on the road and the rails of the sewer mouth Alec, not caring about how wet he got, put his legs on the water soaking his pants to its knees and pulled the drenched cat out, it was a little bloody but nothing major, just a scared cat with a couple of scratches; seeing Alec's face saddening he moved his hands and healed it with a blue spark, smiling instantly when he saw a relieved Alec putting the cat inside his coat.

When they got home, Magnus discovered Alec had a huge gasp on his right leg and immediately rationalized: Alec had immersed his HUGE open gashed leg into the filthy water just to save a cat, he hadn't even considered asking Magnus to magically do it, and when Magnus asked him why not he answered simply: I didn't want you to waist energy plus, there just wasn't a reason to, I could do it myself simply enough.

So yeh; Trying to shorten ANYONE'S life wasn't AT ALL Alexander like, and that made everything ten times worse because: even not wanting to believe it, Alec had for a fact joined forces with Camille, BEHIND MAGNUS' BACK, to KILL him!

Kill was an exaggeration but still! What was it that made him do something like that? had he been that troubled about immortality or had he never fully accepted Magnus :A half demon freak, a person who has slept with countless strangers, an eccentric, flamboyant, walking drawing disaster, an immortal being with countless skeletons in his closet…?

Snapping out of his self-pity inner world he stormed to the door, not bothering to look for the kimono and opening it in an angered movement after demanding in a harsh tone.

¨Who dares to disturb the high warlock of Brookling?¨

The forceful knock had been going for a while.

Not getting an answer he looked properly and found Isabelle standing in front of him. She made it like she was going to move inside of the apartment and he restrained her putting his arm on the door frame.

¨Isabelle, didn't I tell you to go away? Don't you ever listen?¨

He let a sight out, he felt drained; three days of sleepless nights and Alec related domestic incidents had taken a huge impact on his body, even his electricity seemed to have vanished.

¨Alec!¨

She started yelling and Magnus caught her weird expression, the girl had a good poker face but not indecipherable.

¨Alec! Get your ass out here!¨

His headache and her voice made his head throb, he removed his hand from the restraining position and sighed.

¨I already told you, he is not here.¨

She fixated her big eyes on him and stomped inside.

¨Of course he is!¨

¨Isabelle I have already told you he isn't¨

He was about to let a sigh out but catching her weird expression he tensed immediately, as she said.

¨Then where is he?¨

**So…**?**What did you think about it? Let me know trough a review or PM, see you soon**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hello people ol its been a while hasn't it?**

**I know I haven't updated in a long time but to be fair I had a lot on my plate this last few weeks.**

**Thank you for reading it.**

**Remember:**** I don't own TMI, Cassandra Clare does.**

**As always thank you so very much for the reviews and the follows and favorites LOVE YOU ALL S2**

Four nights since he left Magnus' apartment, that meant three days without any contact with his siblings, it was more than enough time for them to have noticed it, they wouldn't notice because they would go looking for him, that would take longer, but because since the whole: Jonathan is stabbed and Jace is rescued thing there hadn't been more than a day and a half without some kind of disaster they owe to have noticed his absence.

The last few weeks had been the busiest of his shadowhunter life. There had been some demon's spree before and being shadowhunters he and his family had helped, but it hadn't been until this big wave of ¨accidents¨, as the clave liked to call, that he realized being considered an adult changed everything. He had been busy and tired, he hunted and attended meetings, all of it in between dealing with his family's problems and his relationship problems. It had been chaos.

It was Monday, meaning he had missed the clave meeting that started the day before and should be ending today or tomorrow. Being late to a Clave meeting, or not going to one, was a drastic change in his normal M.O.: that consisted in him being early to every single one of those meetings. Even if he had been lucky and he hadn't been called up to go on a hunt, his absence on the institute wouldn't go unnoticed.

¨This is bad¨

He only realized he had spoken it out loud when Maureen woke up kind of startled.

¨sorry, it wasn't on purpose, the sun is still up so you can go back to sleep if you want to¨

She gave him a questioning look and seeing his eased expression and small smile she went back to sleep.

¨Don't worry we don't have to move yet, only tomorrow or latter.¨

He whispered knowing she was tense about the plan, trying to sooth her a bit so she could sleep better.

He was tense about it too.

Yesterday they had talked about their need to get moving, he hadn't done much progress on the whole: Why is Maureen the new head of New Yorker clan, or how she knew where Camille would be, or even how she was so strong but wasn't used to it even though she had been a vampire for at least three months. But they had talked about her feeding and about the fact that, even if for unknown reasons, he was indeed going to help her and that to do that they couldn't be found by the Clave, because they were extremists and they wouldn't see her how he saw her, he didn't include the last bit of his mind when talking to her though.

Another important fact about their talk was that she let it slip that she knew Sebastian, she had called him Lilith's son and said he was terrifying, Alec had also gotten the idea that they had lived together or spent some time together but when he tried forcing a bit more about it out of her, it only made her close up until they went back to the plan.

To him it was clear that she was a scared little girl who was turned into a vampire against her will, so she could be a part of a plan to get Jace to reawaken Sebastian. To the clave she would be a vampire who killed lots of people and broke at least five of the accord's laws, that she wasn't even familiar of by the way. So yeh, he wasn't going to go to the Clave with this.

Alec cared for her, maybe he did because she had saved him just when he needed it, if she hadn't given him a ¨mission¨ he was probably going to be a hell of a lot worse than: angry, upset, sad and confused, which was how he was feeling, if she hadn't appeared and given him a reason to hold on to sanity he would be at the institute, not home, that hadn't been his home for a long time, wallowing in desperation and being reassured of just how useless he was. Attending meetings where he wouldn't be heard.

Even before they broke up, his heart made an excruciating pang in his chest and a million of Magnus related memories flooded his mind.

Even before it Alec was on edge: his brother and parabatai, one of the few people he truly loved was suffering from an unknown disease and he could do nothing about it, he had searched in every book about anything related to the fact that Jace was burning from the inside out and had come out empty handed. Even if his brother didn't admit it Alec knew he was hurting, he could feel it too: being a parabatai had its perks and to him that was that sometimes he could literally feel the pain of his sworn brother, and it hurt, a lot.

If he was at the institute, he would go right back to thinking about this upcoming war: it was promising to be even worse than the one in Alicante, he was quite convinced it would be hundreds of times worse, since Valentine had, at least, a moral code and as far as he knew Sebastian he didn't have a sane bone in his body.

Alec would be stuck in his well-known turmoil of tragedies, he had imagined how he wouldn't be able to protect everyone he wanted to, he wouldn't even be able to protect the ones he HAD to: in his dreams he saw Isabelle die in several different ways and Jace be killed in just as many.

Clary had appeared in his tortured mind enough times to remind him that she happened to be one of the few he HAD to save; she was Jace's and Jace was hers so if one of them died Alec was positively sure the other would soon follow. Simon was another that he had sworn to protect; because even if Isabelle said she wasn't, Alec knew that she was deeply in love with the vampire.

Magnus related scenes were always the worst, because it was in those that he felt even more useless, when the others kept on dying in his head he found it unbearably painful but as if to give him a break, his dream self had been able to save them a couple of times, Magnus' scenes were different tough.

Magnus was stronger than he was, a lot stronger than any normal shadowhunter, so when he couldn't save himself Alec didn't even have the chance to try, his beloved would be dead before he could even blink, and it terrified him even more than his family's death, because Magnus wasn't supposed to die before him, it should be the other way around. fortunately the amount of times he dreamt of Magnus' death was lower than the others, and that made perfect sense: Alec was his family's shield, they were gladiators and Alec was the one that kept them alive and safer so they could fight without holding back, but he was Magnus' boyfriend; he wanted him and Magnus to spent the rest of his life together and to do that he didn't have to protect Magnus, the warlock had made it clear that he could protect himself well enough if he needed to.

He was still kind of lost in his thoughts when he followed Maureen to the kitchen automatically, just like he had done the day before and the one before that .It was true that the girl couldn't actually eat the food they made together but both seemed to enjoy the mechanical movements of making breakfast, which happened to be around 10 .pm, meaning he had been lost in thought for at least two hours.

The house didn't have much food to start with, its fridge had a box of milk and some fruits, lots of whine to, Alec was very puzzled when he noticed the house had food in the first place! because let's face it: even if Camille was old enough to stomach some foods, she didn't seem like the type to have a pancake mixture box, which explained his shock seeing one in the kitchen's counter.

He had eaten take out and pancakes for three days so he was rather hungry, his injuries had gotten better, they weren't fully healed yet but they were getting there.

He looked up from the polished wooden floors and saw Maureen showing him that there was just a handful of mixture and just like that he noticed it was time they stopped playing house. That simple gesture made him snap out of his illusion and realize that it was now or never, they had to run or both of them would be fairly screwed in less than a day.

He was immediately sad: the last couple of days had been really nice, it was plain stupid how doing nothing all day with Maureen was so fun. After they had dealt with her hunger by stealing some of the neighbor's blood: it had been a very weird experience and a unexpectedly funny story that he hopped to never share with anyone, since he didn't know anyone that would find it funny how a shadowhunter and a vampire accidently mixed blood and apple juice while they were trying to coarse a seventy year old to hand them some blood and a couple of eggs so they could make pancakes, it had been one of the most humiliating yet hilarious things he ever took part in, but that story would never see the light of day, simply because even if he had forgotten for a couple of days that steeling blood to give to a starving vampire just because he liked her was a horrendous thing, didn't mean other people would take it as lightly as he had .

He gave her a sad look and she seemed to understand.

She put the almost empty box in the trash and looked at him with an expression that mirrored his own sad confusion of emotions.

He didn't force a smile on his face like he usually would, he just flopped down on the kitchen-liven room stylish sofa and looked absent mindedly at the TV's black screen. Maureen walked noiselessly to the other end of the sofa and sat next to him, both waiting for it to be dark enough.

The girl and the man sat for a few minutes enjoying what would probably be their last comfortable moments, it was just a feeling but both could sense those would be the last calm moments they would have for a long time.

Only the Angel knows how much time they spent doing absolutely nothing but hearing Alec's breathing and the wind moving the curtains flooding the room with moon light, and only the Angel knew how they ended up with Maureen curled up in his chest with his arms being her pillow, but they were just like that: both completely relaxed and completely terrified at the same time, he could feel her paying attention to every little noise and being startled by every single one of them, and he could feel his own muscles spasm, expecting a fight of some sort.

He forced himself to get up and move: it was now or now.

¨Nothing will change with don't move. We have to move¨

He said trying to ingrain the though in both of them.

She nodded and they got moving.

He took a five minute shower while she stuffed a duffel bag, the one they had stolen from the neighbor, poor neighbor, Alec had told her to pack whatever she found necessary.

He put on his now washed jeans, his shirt couldn't be saved because it had a gigantic hole on it so he was on the best outfit he had been able to arrange: his jeans, the neighbor's son's navy blue sweatshirt with a very ugly white lettered ¨Jonny Walker¨ stick on it and his beat up combat boots.

She took a shower while he inventoried what weapons they had, again: a samurai sword that they discovered behind the book shelves, his stelle, a knife, and that was it. He sighed, yet again: a katana that he had hastily drawled simple runes on was all they had. He didn't even have a seraph blade or his bow, not even his moonlight stone, the only thing he could do was wish they didn't engage any kind of danger until they got to a church and got useful weapons otherwise they would be in serious trouble.

She opened the door holding her duffel bag on her left hand, hair wet.

¨Hey¨

He didn't turn around to see the sad look that accompanied the small voice. On the last two days he had seen her smiling and she had a very beautiful one, that was, until she didn't then she went right back to her just-saw-a-murder-look, so he didn't turn around, instead he opened the windows and had his body cooled by the breeze.

¨It's going to be ok you know.¨

It wasn't a question, he didn't believe in it but she needed some hope or she wasn't going to take it.

¨I know.¨

¨Ok, them, let's go¨

He smiled very briefly before grabbing her duffel and slugging it up his shoulders testing its weight, it was almost empty.

He stormed down the stairs, trough the hall, to the stairs of the side of the old building, the building wasn't as nice as the apartment they were in, Camille's apartment seemed to be the only thing that was sophisticated on the building.

He walked in a fast pace sensing the vampire's presence near him, his instincts screaming for him to turn around because she was a treat, but he didn't. He continued on the same pace he used on the majority of his missions, his body recognizing it and pumping adrenaline on the rhythm he was used to.

And then he was running: the bag safely on his shoulder and the katana fitted on his grip.

They had talked about what to do to keep them both safe and the only solution he came to was to hide her and go back to the institute pretending nothing happened, it was a reasonable situation the only problem had been where to hide her from every single shadowhunter and downwoldler looking for her, after working out a few ideas the one they diced on was the simpler. He would get her out of town to one of the respected vampire guilds around the country as soon as possible, he made everything sound very simple and easy in front of her but it would be extremely difficult.

Where to hide her had been the next logical question: A mundane hideout would be ok, but it wouldn't offer a lot of security if someone happened to find her, so a warlock or a werewolf had been the next choices: a werewolf wouldn't hide a vampire so a warlock was the only choice, but which one would hide an enemy of the clave? Well many would be ok with confronting the Clave since warlocks weren't all that fuzzy to shadowhunters but Alec didn't know many warlocks that he trusted, he only knew one and he wasn't going to help him, or her.

He didn't want to admit but a fay was the only choice they had left, he hadn't even considered it at first but after thinking about it he did know one out of the folkpeople that he trusted, that confidence had limits but a favor should be ok, and that person happened to own him one, would Jominghern help?.

Jominghern wasn't his friend or even a close acquaintance, they had seen each other and talked many times but Alec didn't KNOW much about the fairy, but since he was Maureen's only chance they would have to seek him out and hope he agrees to hide her.

They jogged at a fast enough pace until they saw a church, thank God he had memorized all of the city's holy places, Jace and Isabelle had made fun of him but it had proven itself to be a very useful information on multiple occasions.

Just a few meters away from the huge wood doors he heard a noise, he did not like the noise, recognition hit him and, unbelievable, was the only thing he thought before grabbing Maureen's fore arm and dragging her down making her duck as the Camsher jumped over them.

¨Hide and don't call attention to yourself¨

He said it releasing his firm grip on her. She looked at him with a very twisted face as if saying ¨what the hell are you talking about?¨

He didn't have the time to reason about his decision to exclude the vampire who was very probably stronger then he was and that had a low chance of dying, of the fight but as soon as he understood the look she gave him, he stepped ahead and lunched himself at the nearest demon bearing his katana and hoping it wouldn't break.

**So…Yeh, that was the new chap. I thought that at this stage the story would have developed more bur i don't regret it going a little slower because that means I will have that much more time to enjoy it.**

**I wanted to know what you think you happen from here on out, I have the main story line in my head and I wanted to know if it will be a surprise to you all or if I am more predictable, please let me know.**

**Kisses.**


	7. Chapter 7

**So people….Here is another chapter, this one I wrote rather quickly, sorry for the mistakes. In my head its progressing quite well but you still don't know where this is going. I put another flash back on Alec's life, this time not about Magnus but I feel that it makes you understand why Alec is the way he is( at least a little bit more ) so…. Read on : )**

The Camsher tried to bite Alec's shoulder while the boy landed a solid blow that cut through the creatures shoulder blade, fortunately for him Camsher demons weren't known by their intelligence or strength because if they were this situation would take a sour turn in no time.

Alec retracted the blade, from the not so thick skin, as quickly as he could without losing his footing, thank the angel he had drawn a night vision rune on his lower stomach, if it wasn't for it he wouldn't have been able to dodge the next jaw trying to bite him from behind. He turned and buried the antic sword right between the other demon's ribs, did he reach the heart? He felt the blade pulse: yes he did.

Already standing up, the wolf like creature that had a nasty gush on the left shoulder blade, ran full speed at him. He was prepared: his pulse erratic and his posture ready for the encounter, a heartbeat before sinking the black blood dripping blade in to the gigantic dog another one came running aiming to sink its poison teeth on the shadowhunter.

¨shit¨ He thought, but didn't say, spending time with Magnus had freed his mind enough for him to understand the small pleasure of cursing no one in particular when some things, for example a demon coming after him unexpectedly while he was dealing with another demon, but he hadn't spent enough time with the warlock so it became something he would say out loud.

Camshers weren't known by their strength or particular defense mechanisms, to be fair they were of medium speed yet any shadow hunter could follow their movements easily, so why were they considered a complicated hunt? That would be, because their poison spreads very quickly and it so happens to be very deadly, there was no way Alec would let those fangs penetrate his skin.

He twisted his body to the right slashing the demon in front of him, a bit too superficially but the cut slowed the demon efficiently enough. He made the movement flow the best he could: shifting the hands griping the katana so it was easier to transition the direction of the blow and shifting the grip as so he was holding it in one hand and the sword reached further.

He sliced an almost perfect line from the creature's head t it's toe, and at the same moment the demon folded itself until there was nothing left of it.

Sweat was sliding from his browns down his face, dripping from his jaw till his collar bone.

Taking hold of his breathing he looked around, were there more of them? No, at least not coming after him.

His view locked on Maureen, her hands were bloody, her jeans and shirt smudged with blood but beside all the mess she looked fine: no labored breathing, no sweat, no tears, no visible injure. What did he expect really? She is the vampire who killed Camille, not to mention she was basically raised from dead by the mother of all demons herself, and by what he could deduce, she spend most part of the last month, or months, being trained by Sebastian. She was not going to be killed by some low rank demons, but neither would he.

Alec could be the only shadow hunter in his family that hadn't killed his first demon by the age of sixteen, that was ,by the way, the age his sister had killed her first demon setting the record of second latter bloomer: meaning that except her everyone in his family killed their first demon before turning sixteen, quite a respectful record really. But him killing his first demon at eighteen didn't mean he was a weak shadowhunter, not at all, he knew that by idris's and the shadowhunter's stats he was considered at least decent.

He normally stranded on the background, and he was kind of a coward, but by any means it meant a low rank demon would have a chance to kill him when he wasn't gravely injured, and even so that would be a long shot, for the demon.

Alec checked the place where the creatures had last been at: in front of him and to his immediate right there was nothing left, on his left lay the first demon that attacked him, bleeding and making horrible sounds, even if it was a demon the act of killing didn't bare much of an appeal to Alec, it made him feel so sad that his entire species trained every single day and died on a daily basis just to kill these creatures, in his mind it was a pity everyone couldn't just work it out somehow, or concentrate on finding a way to seal the passage the demons used to come to their dimension, but even if sad it was necessary there for no need to overthink it.

He looked at the katana's blade and saw it rotting, he wasn't the iron sisters so it was obvious the runes he put on the blade wouldn't come close to protecting it but having to use it on poisoned demons had taken a stronger toll on it than he had expected, the blade was all but melting in his grip so he tossed it to the ground and pulled the knife from his jeans, the feeling of the heated metal sliding from his jeans, touching the small of his back and made him remember just how much he liked the adrenaline of fighting: when you can hear everything and nothing beyond your own heartbeat, your skin is hyper aware so the simple movement of a blade sliding up your back makes your senses tingle, the sound of someone approaching you from behind makes Goosebumps rise on the nape of your back.

He shoved the kitchen knife on the dog's heart and twisted it to make the demon fold into itself and disappear a moment quicker, if he hadn't runed the blade up it would have been much more difficult to kill the demon, but if he did a nice clean fatal wound it would still send those demons back to where they came from.

Alec turned around, his heart still pumping extra adrenaline that made his body itchy to move, and staring up at him was Maureen just like he expected. He looked into her eyes not sure why he did it, he would normally avoid such head on stare, and she nodded at him pointing her chin to the church.

It took a moment to believe and understand her but just like earlier, as soon as he did he knew exactly what to do, so he went ahead and walked inside the church, she had just assured him she was fine and would wait right there, or at least it was what the nod had looked like.

He was used to communicating without actual verbalization, it was natural to do so with Jace and Isabelle, during hunts it happened a lot. He liked not having to say anything and liked not having to listen, so a nod was something he tried to understand, even if some people, name: Jace and Isabelle, didn't believe him when he said nods are as understandable as words, he was sure they were.

Alec still wasn't completely convinced Magnus couldn't read his mind sometimes, and he had learned to read some of Magnus's expressions as well, in his book the only person who could have so many different nods and suggestive expressions and yet be capable of concealing his emotions when judged necessary, was the warlock.

He jogged to the altar and kneeled searching erratically for the mark signaling the presence of weapons.

There.

He couldn't help the smile that crossed his face, there was this feeling of security that having a weapon provided, you might be in a fight where the chances of getting out alive are below one per cent, but if you have a seraph blade or a bow whit you that one per cent looks like a ten per cent, easy.

The box was half empty, it was obvious some shadowhunter must have been saved by the wooden box some time ago, and right now that was what the box was doing for him, saving and reassuring him: ¨A shadow hunter without a weapon is as good as a mundane with all the weapons in existence¨

His father had told him that once, at first he didn't understand: a mundane is weak but if it has all of the weapons needed, than they had a pretty good chance of survival, no? But then it hit him: Even if the mundane had a chance, he wouldn't know how to use it so all of the weapons wouldn't be that good of an advantage.

So it basically meant that if you don't have a weapon you are out of your element and good part of what you know, of you precious endless training, is useless and even if you have an ok chance of survival you won't be calm enough to use it SINCE YOU DON'T HAVE A WEAPON.

So yeah, weapons are a shadowhunter's best friend.

He chose a bow, happy the previous person hadn't taken his weapon of choice, and added as many arrows as he could find spread through the box, tow seraph blades, one hanging on the belt he had just put on a smaller one secure strapped to his leg, he had missed the weight of the weapons. He also took a dagger and silver cord, he had a feeling some where wolfs were hanging around, maybe he was just traumatized by the very sudden appearance of Camshers out of nowhere, right where they were, not twenty minutes after they left the building, but it seemed the cord was something he could hide easily by rolling it on his wrist, he shrugged it: better safe than sorry.

He closed the box and hid it on the fake floor board putting a closing rune on it to make sure only another shadow hunter would be able to open it.

Alec got up and ran out of the church, spirits renewed.

Fully armed he was going to make sure to take Maureen to Jominghern, quickly and safely and to do that they had to get going, to the subway.

New Yorker shadowhunter's routine: life threatening situation equals: taking the subway.

By the time they reached the opening to the underground Alec was calmer; his breathing slowing and his muscles relaxing slightly. They went down the stairs swiftly and after searching his pocket for the money he had tucked there earlier on they bought the ticket and waited briefly for the train.

The ride had been what calmed him the rest of the way, the roughly fifteen minutes that took them to reach the desired station were very soothing, Maureen was perfectly fine sitting straight beside him, uninjured and blood-free: she had changed her clothes while he was inside the church, no evidence of the black blood but some of it below her finger nails, and she seemed ok hanging around so many humans, keeping together quite well. If it wasn't for her trembling hand holding his shirt he would never suspect she was nervous.

Stepping out of the train, passing by the ticket gates, going up the stairs, they did it all mechanically. Alec was paying attention very closely to his surrounds: people running everywhere, movement from every angle but nothing supernatural about it.

It was funny how the shadowhunters from Idris thought they had better training than those around the world because, being practical, you can't disagree that a person fighting among so many mundanes in a place with many sounds, colors and movement is better than a person that trained all of his life in a safe environment, like Idris, and fought with demons just as strong as the ones around the world, but in the comforting safeness and familiarly of the quiet, mundane free surroundings.

Starting to get nervous, he upped the pace so it was a light jog to the park where they were heading, making sure Maureen was close by his side.

The park was one of the places he liked the most, right along with Magnus's apartment, the shower, the library and the corner of Hodge's garden.

When his father discovered his hiding place in the institute, A.K.A: the garden's corner, Alec had been devastated: that was the only place he knew where he could be completely at peace, maybe he had overreacted by not returning to it for the next five years but it had taken a tool on him.

It had been a winter's day and he had turned fourteen a couple of months previous it. Isabelle had gone out on her first hunt together with: Alec, Robert and Mathew, a shadow hunter boarding at the institute at the time. They were all geared up and going to the south part of Manhatan per suing a few Gorgentts, it was supposed to be an swift hunt but what they didn't expect was how many demons spilled out of their lair, there were around twenty of them, they had expected five at most.

Alec had gone hunting for the first time when he was twelve as well, so he had been hunting for a while and there for knew that: that many demons was beyond any of the other's expectative. His father didn't turn and instruct them in any way, and for that Alec was proud, it was like an explicit show of faith in him: just like they had talked about before leaving the institute, Alec was immediately in place to protect his sister.

The battle stretched out for hours, it was incredible how long the two adults held out without reinforcements.

As soon as Alec had the chance, he called his mother and told her what was going on, but even so it would take a while for anyone to come and he knew it.

Aiming every arrow precisely he tried helping as much as possible while keeping his sister from getting herself in danger, that night was to be her first hunt but it wasn't supposed to have that many demons and she wasn't supposed to actually do anything but watch and get used to the real demons and not the ones from the books.

At some point he was exhausted, uninjured but very spent from ducking and keeping Isabelle out of trouble, he looked behind to make sure Isabelle hadn't decided to go running in to action, like she tried to several times that night, and was shocked when there was no one there.

His heart skipped several beats and his guts wanted to leave his body through his mouth, he looked around frenetically, eyes wide. Freaking out more by every moment he didn't find her.

When he finally caught a glimpse of the long black hair wiping, he had to take a breath not to faint right there, ¨thank the Angel¨ was all he could think of, not a second latter his breath was stuck in his throat, yet again: a huge two headed demon was making its way towards Isabelle and the girl, the stupid girl, was running toward it with resolved eyes and a seraph blade raised.

¨Adnachiel!¨

Isabelle shouted and before the angel's name had completely left her lips the demon knocked her to the side with its huge deformed hand, and it didn't take a second for him to get between both of them, his instincts hitting in and after a quick glance to see if Isabelle was ok, she was alive and moving, he turned back to the demon and shot an arrow through it's head.

The Gorgentt stumbled back but didn't fall, Alec was ready to take another shot when the fight was interrupted by his mother coming from behind the demon and putting a sword on the monter's head, piercing it so it crossed him from back to front.

The demon folded itself to oblivion.

¨Isabelle!¨

Alec felt the wind passing by him as his mother ran to his sister, and not a second after the girl murmured.

¨I'm fine, stop it.¨

¨Mom! Stop t!¨

He heard a slap being planted on her check and turned around.

¨What the hell were you thinking!? Didn't we say you were supposed to OBSERVE, and observe only?!¨

The concern he had initially herd on his mother's voice had faded and she was now taking Isabelle's arm and applying an iratze. Focusing on his sister he saw the blood stains on her right arm, so the Gorgentt had injured her.

Looking around he saw his father walking up to them and the other shadowhunter laying on the floor behind him. His father wasn't very well either, he was bleeding from several different places and his gear showed he had at least two serious gashes.

Towering over Alec the man asked.

¨Are you ok?¨

It wasn't a concern filled question and so Alec answered trying to imitated the unattached tone.

¨ok¨ he said nodding slightly.

Robert nodded back and proceeded slowly to the two women behind him. He put an arm around Maryse and she shrugged it off, Alec could feel the hurt in both of their faces but it was there for only a second, then, with the mask back on their faces, his mother started to apply Iratzes on the worst wound his dad had and Alec was thinking that was the end of all of the busy night.

But it wasn't the end of it, not at all.

When they got home they all went to the infirmary to take care of the small injures. When going out of the room, so he could finally get some much needed sleep, he heard Hodge coming after him.

¨Wait, alexander.¨

He stopped only a few steps out in the hall and turned around to face Hodge.

Hodge was always kind of mysterious, it was incredible how he seemed to never lose his focus, he was the person Alec idolized the most, his dream self: intelligent, calm, collected, useful.

¨I have to talk to you, would you mind if we headed to the library?¨

¨no…¨

He answered briefly but in his mind questions were swirling all around: what does he want? Is something wrong with dad, maybe Isabelle? By the angel, did he do something wrong? again? What does Hodge want? Calm down it's not like Hodge doesn't call you to talk when you didn't do anything, actually he talks to you in particular quite often. You did nothing wrong you protected your sister the best you could, if someone did anything wrong it was Isabelle by running in to trouble when dad and mom had told her to stay put. You are safe, so there is no reason for you to be freaking out, right?

By the time he as calm enough to focus, they were entering the library and the older man was looking at Alec fondly.

¨Where did you go just now, Alec?¨The man smiled.

¨an…ah, nowhere¨ He blushed a little for stumbling on words.

The man's smile dimed until his face could only be described as a mixture of pity and resolve.

¨You know, you did pretty good today protecting Isabelle, you know that right?¨

¨Yeh…¨

At that point he was truly confused, if it was any other day he wouldn't be able to hide his smile at being complemented but Hodge's expression didn't look right, So Alec just stood there and waited for the ¨but¨ he knew was coming.

¨But, your father disagrees with me, he thinks you shouldn't have lost sight of her and so,¨

The man hesitated and looked even sadder at the fifteen year old in front of him.

¨He wants to talk to you first thing in the morning so meet your father on the weapons room before breakfast tomorrow,¨ It wasn't a question, it was an order, like all of the others his father had made Hodge report to him since they had moved to New York ¨Now, I'm sure you are tired, so go on to bed.¨ The smile was back on the man's face, but Alec's expression was as far of a smile as possible.

The boy walked mechanically back to his room wondering what his dad was going to teach him the next day, his lessons had never been easy and by the way Hodge had looked at him tomorrow would be one of those lessons he wouldn't forget.

The next day didn't disappoint.

Alec had woken up from a nightmare where his dad turned into a monster and killed him, just to make his way, very slowly, to the weapons room, noticing that since his father was always fifteen minutes earlier, he was exactly ten minutes late, so he rushed down the hall and recomposed himself so he could enter it half decently.

Whit his heart on his throat he opened the door and walked in.

His father looked dead serious and directly into his eyes. Considering the boy was way shorter than the man, it was a considerable feat, that the boy was able to bear the gaze and conceal his shaking hands behind his back and the sweat pouring out of him.

After an undetermined amount of time just looking at each other, his father sighed, it had been the first time Alec saw his father doing that. In seconds he was massaging the bridge of his nose and sighing again.

¨Dad…?are, you, ok?¨

¨I'm fine son, but tell me: how am I supposed to make my oldest son understand he needs to change? Because son, I'm tired of trying to make you do things you obviously doesn't want to, I truly don't understand where your mom and I did wrong, it's obvious you don't like being a shadowhunter, since you can't even look at a demon without turning white with fear and I know the only reason you saved your sister it's because you felt forced to.¨

¨Maybe I should be grateful that the way to make you a good shadowhunter is by showing you that the people you love will DIE if YOU DON'T DO SOMETHING! And that is what you need Alexander! you need to do things! not because anyone told you to but because it's in your nature, because you are a shadowhunter! and a Lightwood!¨

¨ Because you are my son!¨

At this point his father was screaming and Alec was only listening, frozen in place, his muscles twitching with his father's words.

Another sigh from the man.

¨Alexander, your mother and I received a big job offer from Idris and we will take it, meaning your training will be taken over entirely by Hodge and so will your sister's. Hodge is good man, but it isn't his responsibility to take care of you, it's yours and it's also your responsibility as the oldest, to take care of Isabelle.¨

¨So if you continue the way you are I won't have another choice but to not trust you with any of those things. I know you love our family as much as I do so I'm giving you three months to change yourself. Three months Alexander, think about it carefully.¨

Robert had said it all with a hard face and a strong voice.

When the boy noticed, he was alone on the huge room. He put a hand on his mouth silencing a sob and ran as fast as he could to the garden on the top floor, breaking down and falling to his knees on his favorite corner, where he cold press his back to the wall and see the magical blue flowers. His sobs raking his body and his hands trying to catch the tears streaming down his face, his breathing didn't seem to take enough oxygen to his body.

He didn't know how much time he had been crying for but suddenly this huge shadow was on top of him. He looked up and his father had the scariest expression Alec had ever seen. His breath got interrupted and he stared at his feet avoiding the man's gaze.

Seconds passed on while Alec squeezed his eyes shut tight, hugging his knees, wishing the man would just disappear: and that was exactly what happened, the shadow looming over him retracted and when Alec looked up there was no one there.

That episode had ruined the corner for Alec, so he had had to find a new ¨secret¨ place, and that new place had been a secluded bench below a huge willow tree on a park he found by accident, that park happened to be where he met Jominghern and where he and Maureen were heading at.

**What did you think? Curious about Jominghern? I don't know how you will react about me creating a new character and putting him in the story( many people don't like knew characters- include me in that bunch-) but if you are like me and don't like characters that don't exist on the original story, rest assured he will play his role and disappear. **


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